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adult couples toys Anna Karenina syndrome: uncontrolled love
We all know someone who has once fallen in love in an obsessive and uncontrolled way. In fact, for many people, love is not conceived if it is not that way. That interpersonal fusion taken to the limit, this feeling that you can not live without the other, magnify, idealize you, does not usually lead to a good port if you do not put a brake on time.
In fact, this uncontrolled and limitless love alienates those who suffer from it, which stops feeling like a complete and independent person and comes to believe that there is no life if it is not with the other, as happened to Anna Karenina. In this article we will talk about a concept that we could call Anna Karenina syndrome.
Related article: "The 7 differences between love and emotional dependence"
What is Anna Karenina syndrome?
Anna Karenina is a fictional character who stars in the literary work of the same name, written by Lev Tolstoy in 1877. This classic of universal literature reflects the tragic circumstances in which too intense and passionate love can lead.
The protagonist, who is married in the novel, falls madly in love with another man, a soldier named Vronsky, and ends up leaving everything for him. And everything is everything, her husband, her social position, her son, and finally her life.
Anna Karenina Syndrome is related to an obsessive affective pattern characterized by an absolute dependence on the beloved figure. This considerably affects the rest of the person's life areas, which lose importance and are overshadowed by THE OTHER with capital letters, which ends up encompassing everything.
Who suffers from this syndrome, like the protagonist, is capable of anything in order to be next to who loves.
We have countless examples in the cinema of this kind of passionate lack of control, as is the case of the little mermaid of Disney, who loses her status as a mermaid, leaves her family, her surroundings, even gives her voice in order to be next to the Be loved idealized.
You may be interested: "The 4 types of love: what kinds of love exist?"
Is it therefore harmful to love intensely?
Contrary to what Hollywood sells to us and the successes of the top 40, obsessively loving is undoubtedly the worst way to love. Although initially this emotional flood may seem attractive, it can end up becoming one of the worst diseases that humans can experience.
This way of loving is linked to anguish: anguish at the thought that the loved one can stop loving us, anguish at not always having him by our side, anguish over the fear of being deceived.
Therefore, "without you I am nothing" and "I cannot live without you" are examples not to follow when assuming a role in the relationship.
Related article: "10 daily habits that improve your emotional balance"
What consequences does this affective phenomenon have?
There are many consequences of loving so intensely, from losing the vital course, plummeting of self-esteem, loss of one's integrity and emotional balance .... To other types of more dire consequences, such as Anna has in the book.
Don't love me so much, love me better
It is recommended, therefore, not to focus on the amount of love that is given or received, but on the quality of it. There are a number of aspects in which we can work to avoid falling into this syndrome:
Be architects of our own happiness. Do not look for it outside but inside. Join the other as life partners, not as crutches, strips, nurses or psychologists.
"Don't put all the eggs in the same basket." Maintain friendships, hobbies, family relationships, and an enriching life beyond the relationship.
Own and other people's freedom. Maintain the limits of the individuality and freedom of both members.
Not love blindly, but consciously. Having our eyes wide open to each other's behavior, and taking action if what we observe does not like us.
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